I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
third nipple confirmed
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
