Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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