I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
