Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
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