yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
