Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
