can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
