its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
