I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
