It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize