How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
