Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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