I look better un-naked...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
