I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
