those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
