Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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