he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i believe in u and ur pee
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