next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
