I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
My breath smells like gin and sadness
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
