just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
