Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
