I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Randomize
