8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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