Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
