went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
