He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
