There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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