Fine. I'll sleep in my office
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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