Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Pants are for mortals
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize