I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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