This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
