we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
