decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
