wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
