He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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