I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
