Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you will always have a special place in my vag
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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