Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
