I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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