you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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