Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
