So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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