Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
