So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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