I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
