I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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