If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize