Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
