I've blown a few things in my day
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
