I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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