he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
