I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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