Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Can I color on your dick again?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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