That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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