Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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