Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
