Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize