Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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