Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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