Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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