Porn is love you can see.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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