I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
