I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
