Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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