just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
