im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
