Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
3pm strippers are depressing
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
