you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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