i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize