THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
