We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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